


Mike and Louis

by chorus



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Mild SM, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-31
Updated: 2013-01-04
Packaged: 2017-11-23 02:33:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/617121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chorus/pseuds/chorus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mike is overwhelmed by the guilt over his grandmother's death.  Louis offers him a way to deal with it.  Meanwhile, Harvey and Donna have a very confusing bet over whether Harold is gay.  How far do Mike and Louis take their SM relationship?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chapters 2-5 (and maybe more) mention characters from other tv shows, current or ended, except chapter 4, which mentions a character from a best-selling book. I hope to continue this trend in future chapters.

One – Louis Rescues Mike

Louis Litt wanted a drink. Today had been the worst day of a long string of very bad days. Now, almost midnight, he walked along Park Avenue trying to clear his head. It wasn't easy to accept the realization that the boss he thought liked him was really just using him. His main rival had been victorious again, and Louis hated him for it. He wished he had somebody, anybody, he really needed some relief.

Being made a senior partner at the law firm of Pearson Hardman last week had been the accomplishment of years of hard work. It was also long overdue, but since his main rival, Harvey Specter, was Jessica Pearson's lapdog, Louis had been passed over last time. While his footsteps echoed off the sidewalk, Louis thought about Harvey. Harvey was a brilliant lawyer, and Louis idolized him. At the same time Louis hated Harvey because he knew that Harvey was a power player, something Louis would never be. He stopped at the corner of 50th, the realization washing over him that he really didn't hate Harvey as much as he hated himself. Harvey was cold – many said that there was ice water running in his veins – and Louis knew he himself could never be that unemotional.

He started walking again. Being emotional is a fatal flaw in the legal world. Louis was able to master his emotions when working on a case, especially in the courtroom. He just couldn't master them in the office, and that kept giving Harvey the upper hand.

Louis noticed he was passing more bars as he got closer to Times Square. These were a little less fancy than the places he usually went, they were for the tourists. He wasn't even aware that he'd been walking up 50th instead of Park. A door to one of the bars opened, and he decided to go in. Sitting down at the bar, he looked around. The place was a mix of tourists and theater people. There was a small stage at the opposite end of the room. A bartender materialized in front of him.

“Martini,” Louis said. The bartender vanished.

Daniel Hardman. The name alone was enough to disgust Louis. A named partner, the man who made Louis a senior partner. The man who used Louis as a pawn in a game to get rid of Jessica Pearson and Harvey Specter. The man who had cheated the partners out of three million dollars. He said it was to settle a lawsuit against the firm, only to be exposed as the man who planted fake evidence for the lawsuit. Ultimately, Hardman had gotten fired, and Louis wondered if he'd bought himself any redemption by voting with the majority.

“Run a tab?” asked the bartender, putting the martini on the bar. Louis took out his wallet and handed over his American Express card. Wallowing in his disgust and self-pity, he hadn't noticed the people setting up equipment on the stage. Without warning a voice blared out of huge speakers announcing it was Karaoke time. Louis groaned. There was no way he was going to sit there and watch people make idiots of themselves. Reaching for his drink, he was going to drain it and get out.

His hand froze in mid-reach when he heard the name of the first singer. It couldn't be. Sure enough, there was Mike Ross stumbling his way to the stage, looking very disheveled and swaying left and right. He nearly fell while climbing onto the stage. Mike was drunk. Louis groaned again. Mike Ross was a first-year Junior Associate recruited by Harvey Specter, and Harvey treated him as his personal protege. Mike was good, Louis saw a lot of potential in him, but the fact that Mike worshipped Harvey always made Louis wary and suspicious. Louis knew that Mike was hiding something and Harvey was helping him hide it, and despite his best efforts Louis hadn't been able to find out what it was.

He watched Mike take the microphone and promptly fall down. As much as Louis told himself he didn't care, he got out of his seat and headed for the stage. Mike deserved to make a fool of himself, it might take away some of the arrogance and cockiness the boy had. But Louis had heard about Mike's grandmother dying, and couldn't help but feel a little sorry for him.

“That's enough,” Louis said when he got to the stage. He reached down and pulled Mike up.

“Louish!” Mike slurred. “Gonna shing too?”

“The show's over for you,” replied Louis. He half-walked, half-dragged Mike to the bar, propped him in the seat next to his own. Instantly the bartender was there. “Coffee,” Louis ordered.

Mike was pouting. “I was gonna shing!” he declared, waving at the stage.

Louis grabbed Mike's shoulders. “Look, you little shit! You're a pain in the ass and a thorn in my side, but I'm not going to let people think that Pearson Hardman is full of falling-down drunks!” Mike opened his mouth and Louis put his hand over it. “You're going to sit here, quietly, Ross, and drink this coffee!”

“Why, Louish! You care! You really care!” Mike smiled.

“I'm sorry about your grandmother,” said Louis. Mike's smile vanished. Louis went on. “And yes, I do care about the firm's reputation. But that's as far as it goes. Now drink your coffee.” Mike picked up the mug of coffee, took a sip and passed out on the bar, the mug smashing on the floor. The bartender magically reappeared. “Taxi.” Louis ordered.

“What about his bill?” asked the bartender.

“On my tab.” Louis sighed and struggled to get Mike out the door.

The next morning, Mike didn't so much wake up as reach a significantly less altered state of consciousness, one where he realized that he ached from head to toe and his bladder was about to burst. Slowly he opened his eyes. He was on a couch, a nice one in a solid brown shade, with a blanket over him. Turning his head, which caused major pain behind his eyeballs, he saw that the room was elegant but practical. The sun was shining behind closed drapes. Ever so gently he raised himself up on his elbows. When the room stopped spinning he cautiously lifted his feet and swung them to the floor. They bumped against something which turned out to be an empty trashcan.

“I think it's obvious why I put that next to you.” Louis walked into the room, wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. “Good morning, Elvis,” he said, not smiling.

Mike wanted to ask “Where am I?” but when he opened his mouth a low moan escaped him. He fell back on the couch, the sudden movement causing more pain in his head and threatening his bladder. He pulled the blanket up to his chin.

“Easy, loverboy. Coffee will be ready in a few minutes. You're at my place. You passed out at a bar, trying to sing Karaoke. Do you remember anything?” Mike shook his head, making Louis smile. “You came to in the cab, and talked and talked and talked! Now I know all your dirty little secrets!”

Mike was horrified. Had he told Louis everything? How he wasn't really a lawyer, had never gone to law school, that it was his fantastic memory and skills that had convinced Harvey to hire him? Mike knew that he could go to jail for impersonating a lawyer. Would Louis do that to him?

“So Rachel caught you with Tess, huh? The love you want caught you with your childhood sweetheart.” Louis was smirking. “Then they both left you. Left you alone with your guilty feelings about your grandmother. How you didn't spend enough time with her. How you blew off dinner the day before she died. And now you're all alone.” Louis' look turned serious. “Listen to me, junior. I know what it's like.” His voice was intense. “I know what it's like to be lonely. I know what it's like to lose somebody you love. But alcohol and sex are not the answer!”

Mike's bladder was at the breaking point. “Bathroom?” he croaked.

Louis pointed. “Down the hall.” Mike gave him a questioning look. Louis smirked again. “You're decent. See for yourself.” Mike looked under the covers and saw that he still had his t-shirt, pants and sock on. Gently he got up off the couch and made his way to the bathroom. When he returned, there was a cup of coffee on the table next to the couch. Louis pointed to it. “Use both hands. I don't want it all over the carpet.”

The hot liquid tasted bitter, but at least his stomach made no threats of sending it back. Mike looked at Louis. “Why are you being nice to me?” he asked in a voice full of suspicion.

“Who said I was being nice?” Louis shot back.

Mike put down his coffee cup. “You never do anything without a reason, and that reason always benefits you. You could have left me in that bar, let me go to jail, but you rescued me. Why?”

“I don't have to explain myself to you.” Louis was getting angry.

Mike took a deep breath. He was feeling a little lightheaded. “You've hated me from the first day I set foot in Pearson Hardman. You've done everything you could to get me fired. And now you're being a hero? It doesn't add up.”

Louis was ready to breath fire. “Listen you little asshole! You think I'm nothing but a neurotic wimp, only capable of crunching numbers and harassing other people! Well I'm human too! I have feelings too! Even compassion! And I know a way to help you get through your pain, if you would just close your mouth and open your mind!”

Mike's lightheadedness made him fall back on the couch. “You? Help me? Yeah, you can. Call me a cab, I'm going home.” His eyes fluttered.

“You're not going anywhere. You're going to rest for a while.” Louis said.

Mike was falling asleep. His eyes closed, he whispered, “You put something in the coffee, you asshole!”

Louis gave Mike one last satisfied smile.


	2. Chapter 2

Two – Harold Is Confused

“Donna!” Sitting at her desk, Donna Paulsen knew the meaning of that yell. She knew the meaning of all her boss' different yells, having worked for Harvey Specter for years, even during his stint at the District Attorney's office. She got up and walked briskly into his office, her red hair flowing behind her.

“No,” she said simply.

Harvey Specter didn't look up from his computer screen. “You don't know what I was going to ask.”

“You were going to ask me to get Mike for you.”

“So do it.” Harvey looked up at her and grinned.

Donna tried not to grin back at him, but it was hard. Even in an expensive suit and with perfectly coiffed hair, Harvey could flash a look that reminded people of a cub scout. She shook her head. “He's not here.”

Harvey's grin slid off his face. “Where is he?” he asked.

“Am I his keeper?” Donna smiled, but caught herself quickly and returned to her blank look.

“I'll make you his warden until we finish this case for Natural Energy, if that's what it takes!” Harvey tried to sneer, but it didn't work. Then he tried to scowl, but just couldn't do it, not to Donna. Donna was more than a good secretary, she was a friend. “I've got some new information about the bank, and I want Mike to follow up on it.”

“Don't know what to tell you,” Donna said indifferently.

“Are you going to make me give this to Louis?” Harvey feigned annoyance.

This time Donna did smile, it was something of a cross between happiness and impish. “Can't. He's not here either.”

Harvey liked that news. While he respected Louis' abilities as a financial attorney, he didn't like Louis. Still, there was work to be done. “What am I supposed to do, grab a J.A. from the bullpen?” There were plenty of Junior Associates, but as far as Harvey was concerned, none were as good as Mike.

“You don't have to go down there,” Donna replied. She put two fingers in her mouth and whistled. Harold Jakowski cautiously looked around the corner, through the glass into Harvey's office. Donna waved him in. Harold walked slowly, looking frightened like he was going to be fired.

Harvey sat back and laughed. “You keep him in your desk drawer?”

“Nope,” Donna said, motioning Harold to a chair. “Caught him spying on Rachel. Again. The third time this week.”

“And you were going to tell me when?” Harvey asked, pulling out his wallet. He handed Donna a twenty-dollar bill. “He's not gay.”

Donna snatched the bill from Harvey's hand. “I still think he is. He just hasn't gotten there yet.” Harold was watching the two of them. He knew he should be annoyed, but his nervousness wouldn't let him. What kind of bet did Harvey and Donna have? It sounded like Harvey was saying no, while Donna was saying yes. Or was it the other way around? Harold was confused.

Harvey turned his attention to the Junior Associate. “What do you know about financial law?” he asked.

“I know I aced it in law school.” Harold was relieved to be on familiar ground. “Probably because of the undergrad courses I took under Baber Saddiqui.”

“You studied under Saddiqui?” Harvey was pleased. “Does Louis know that?” Harold shook his head, which pleased Harvey even more. “OK, then. I need you to find out everything you can about this bank, and do an analysis of the financials.” Harvey handed over a file. “And don't go to Louis, don't tell him what you're doing.”

As Harold left the office, Harvey turned his attention back to Donna. “Find Mike for me, would you?” he asked.

“He's not answering his phone.” Donna shook her head.

“Ask Rachel, then. She was at his grandmother's funeral yesterday.” 

Donna shook her head again. “No go. She went over to Mike's last night, and found him in bed with Tess.”

“Tess?” Harvey raised his head. “Who's Tess?”

“According to Rachel, a childhood friend of Mike's.”

Harvey smiled. “That explains it. He's using rebound sex.”

“Rebound sex?” Donna looked confused. “His grandmother died. How is it rebound sex?” she asked, poking her fingers in the air.

“It's a guy thing, Donna. We use sex as a cure for everything.” Harvey leered at Donna, who looked disgusted. “I'll go over and break up his love fest.”

Donna shook her head again. “No point. Rachel says she went over this morning to apologize, and nobody was there.”

“He probably didn't want to answer the door.” said Harvey. “I'll go over and take care of it.”

Harvey pounded on Mike's door so long that a neighbor came out to see what was going on. The neighbor explained that Mike had left late last night and hadn't been seen since. Harvey asked if Mike had left alone. The neighbor said yes, though he'd seen a girl leave about a half hour before that.

Harvey was concerned. He headed back to the office, and would have Donna check the hospitals and police department. He hoped Mike hadn't done anything stupid.


	3. Chapter 3

Three – Mike Gets Propositioned

When Mike awoke the second time, he definitely felt much better. He was also hungry. There was no sign of Louis, so Mike did some exploring and quickly found the kitchen. In the refrigerator he found cold cuts, and there was bread on the counter. Two sandwiches later, he decided to find Louis, who was in his study, writing some notes. He looked up as Mike entered. “Feel better?”

“Yeah.” Mike said, grudgingly. “I don't appreciate you using the date rape drug on me, though.”

“You're safe with me for now – just kidding!” Louis laughed at the look of horror on Mike's face. “I didn't use the date rape drug. Joan Watson is a friend of mine, she taught me a lot about herb usage. I just mixed in a few that would help you recover from your hangover.”

“Drugs, herbs, whatever. You tricked me, Louis. What bothers me is you did it to be nice to me. Why?”

Louis got up and walked around his desk. “Do you remember that water case you helped me with?” Mike nodded his head. “For the first time I saw something in you. I saw the makings of a good lawyer. No, make that a great lawyer. You worked it hard and came up with good ideas. You may be on Harvey's leash right now, but one day you won't be. You won't need to be.”

“Still not understanding,” Mike said with an edge in his voice.

“Shut up and listen. Really listen!” snapped Louis. “Some day you could be a better lawyer than Harvey. Let me finish.” Mike had opened his mouth again. “In many ways you're already a better person than Harvey. But right now you've had a terrible blow, losing your grandmother. You compounded the problem with that icky love triangle, and then you decided to start on the path to self-destruction. I don't want to see that happen.”

“You've got no right to talk about my grandmother!” Mike shouted. “Stay out of my life!”

Louis' voice was softer, more gentle. “Kind of hard to do when you lay it all out to me in the back of a cab. Look, Mike, I don't want to be your pal or your buddy or anything like that. I want to help you through this rough spot, then help guide you to using the best of your abilities. That's all.”

“I don't need your help.”

“My couch says otherwise.”

Mike huffed. “Louis, this so-called rough spot is finished. Done. I don't need any help getting through something that's behind me. As far as my abilities go, I'm using them just fine. So you can go back to your, whatever it is world, and leave me alone!”

“My whatever it is world, huh?” Louis was angry. “Listen, buster, I built this world piece by piece. And I built it solidly through hard work and some good mentors along the way.”

“Like Daniel Hardman?” sneered Mike.

“At one time Daniel Hardman was one of the best lawyers in this city!” Louis shouted. “Do you think Jessica Pearson would have partnered with him otherwise?”

This brought Mike up short. Pearson Hardman was one of the best and most prestigious law firms in New York City, and Mike had to admit it wasn't all because of Jessica Pearson. Nor was it because they recruited exclusively from Harvard. Mike had worked a couple of cases with Daniel Hardman, even pulled a couple of all-nighters, so had seen for himself just how meticulous, thorough and smart Daniel Hardman was. Had Hardman first not cheated on his wife, then stole money from the firm, then tried to fire Jessica and Harvey (which meant Mike would have been fired, too), Mike probably would have liked working under him.

Mike conceded. “You have a point, Louis. But that's my professional life. It has nothing to do with my personal life, which everybody can just stay the hell out of!”

“Not when you drag us into it,” Louis countered.

“I didn't ask you to come to that club.”

“No, but you should be damn glad I did. What would have happened if you'd been arrested, and word got out that Pearson Hardman hired sloppy drunks? I'll tell you: the firm's reputation would have taken a hit, and you would have been fired. That would have been it for you, the end, no more law practice. You'd be lucky to get hired as a junior paralegal in the Bronx! So yeah, your personal life is the firm's business, and I'm a senior partner.”

“Gee, Louis,” Mike sneered, “maybe someday you'll be a named partner!”

This made Louis angry. “Right after Harvey Specter?” he spat. He grabbed Mike by the shoulders. “You wanna self-destruct, go right ahead! But you're not going to hurt Pearson Hardman!”

“Let go, Louis, you're hurting me!” Mike tried unsuccessfully to wiggle out of Louis' grip. Louis let go, closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Sometimes physical pain can help you work through emotional pain,” Louis said softly, his eyes still closed.

Mike took a step back. “What the hell are you talking about, Louis?” he shouted.

Louis, his eyes still closed, didn't raise his voice. “Mike, have you ever noticed how some guys, when they suffer an emotional blow, wind up in a lot of fist fights?”

“Yeah. My grandmother called it acting out,” answered Mike.

“That acting out is useful. By taking on the physical pain, it helps them work through the emotional pain much faster.” Louis opened his eyes. “There's a whole lot of psychobabble about it, but essentially trading the emotional for the physical pain helps a guy work through both much faster.”

A worried look crossed Mike's face. “Louis, are you saying you want to fight me?”

“No, Mike. There are other, safer ways to trade that pain.” Louis held his gaze.

“Louis, I don't know where you're going with this, but it's freaking me out. I'm out of here!” Mike took a step toward the door.

“Wait!” commanded Louis. Mike stopped. “All I'm asking you to do, Mike, is consider that there are better ways than getting sloppy drunk and who knows what all, to deal with your pain.”

“Louis, how many times do I have to say it? I've dealt with my pain. I'm past it. And I'm out of here.” Mike opened the door.

Louis walked back behind his desk. “Just think about it, OK? I'll call you a taxi.”

“Never mind, I'll walk,” Mike said.

Out on the street, Mike realized he was annoyed with Louis, because Louis was right about a lot of things. The idea of getting into a fight gave Mike an odd sensation; he knew it was wrong, but at the same time it felt like something he wanted. Vent some of the frustration, pain, guilt and tension he was feeling, that's what a good fight would do for him. The problem was that he wasn't good at fighting.

Louis had a point, though. Unless Mike did something to blow off his pain, he knew there would be more nights like last night. He wondered what Louis meant about other ways to trade pain. Working out at the gym? That would be good for a little while, relieve some stress, but it didn't deal with the pain in his heart. What could Louis know that would do that? And why did it have to be Louis?

The clerk looked up when Mike walked back into the lobby. “Go on up. He's waiting for you.”


	4. Chapter 4

Four – Mike Accepts

“I knew you'd come back,” said Louis. Mike didn't say anything, just walked over and flopped down on the couch. Louis went on. “Do you want to sleep here another night or do you want to listen?” he asked with an edge in his voice.

Mike pointed at Louis. “I don't believe that you, you of all people, would be able to help me,” he said.

“With that attitude, nobody's going to be able to help you,” Louis retorted. He sat down in a chair across from Mike. “Here's the deal: for five minutes, just five minutes, you don't hate me. You don't judge me. You keep an open mind, and more importantly, a closed mouth. That's right,” Louis said quickly, as Mike had started to say something. “Your mouth shut, your mind open. Got it?” Mike was wary, but nodded his head in agreement. “OK, then. This is a crash course. What do you know about SM?”

Mike was on his feet instantly. “What are you, some kind of a sicko? Is that what you want to do, Louis? Torture me? I'm outta here!”

“SIT DOWN!” Louis bellowed. Mike froze, surprised by the commanding tone. Louis spoke in a normal voice. “Just sit back down, Mike. You agreed to five minutes. Just five minutes. Mouth shut, mind open. Keep your word.” Mike backed up to the couch and sat down, keeping a cautious eye on Louis. When Louis spoke again there was a touch of anger in his voice. “You think you know it all, you think SM is bad, based on what? A few dirty pictures? Some jokes at the bar? You don't know the real story!”

Mike interrupted. “So now you're some rich Seattle guy who does terrible things to people?”

“I'm not Christian Grey. I've never even met him. No, Mike, his style is too much even for me. My goal is different: to blow off stress and deal with emotional pain through the use of physical pain. Preferably in a non-sexual environment.” Mike's eyes grew wide. Louis held up his hand. “SM can be used in a sexual environment or not, it's entirely up to the people involved. Sometimes I do use it that way, but generally I keep the two separate.”

“I thought S&M was all about sex,” said Mike.

Louis glared at him. “In the first place, it's not S AND M, it's SM, which stands for Sado-Masochism. It really annoys me when people mispronounce it as S and M.” SM is a role-playing game that many people use as a prelude to sexual activity since it can be very erotically stimulating. For some, that's the goal. For others, the goal is the role playing itself. For others, its stress release through minor physical pain, where the role playing manages the situation. There's many different ways to use SM.

There's many different ways to achieve stress release through physical pain, too. Louis admitted he was not into very hardcore stuff, he owned nothing worse than a cane. (Mike shivered.) He had some binders to tie people to a bed if that was part of the deal, but he owned no masks or bull whips or other heavy-duty stuff. “And I definitely don't own any sex toys,” he said.

“You make it sound like SM Lite, or Diet SM,” Mike snickered.

Louis' temper flared. “Have you not been listening to what I just said? I do what works for me, and I think it will help you, too.”

“What, you want to spank me?” sneered Mike.

“How often were you spanked as a kid?” Louis asked.

“Never,” replied Mike. “My parents and grandma used different types of punishment.”

“So this would be a first for you.”

Mike was on his feet again. “Louis, you're creeping me out! All this weird stuff you're into, and you want to drag me into it too? No way! I listened. I'm leaving.”

Louis jumped up and blocked Mike. “Going to get into a fight? Mess up that pretty little face of yours? Maybe get a couple of ribs cracked in the process?” Mike hands balled into fists as he glared at Louis, who continued talking. “Yeah, you want to blow off steam, do the macho thing. You want to hurt, but the truth is you don't want to deal with the real hurt, in here!” Louis poked him in the chest.

Mike's tone was belligerent. “And you think you can do that, huh?”

“Sit down,” Louis said in an even voice. Mike didn't move. “Let me explain the details to you, then you decide. If you want to leave, I won't stop you.”

Mike didn't move. He had wanted to punch Louis, punch him hard and a lot. He knew that wasn't a smart thing to do. Plus, now he was curious. He knew what a spanking was, but didn't see how it could help him. But, no harm in finding out. He relaxed his fists, took a breath and sat down.

Louis also sat down. Since this was Mike's first time, he would go over Louis' knee. Using only his hand, Louis was start out easy, then build up. During the spanking Mike was to focus on the guilt he held about his grandmother. The pain was replacement for the guilt. “Are you going to take down my pants and spank me bare ass?” Mike asked. Louis shook his head no. That required trust, something that built up over time. Mike's eyebrows went up. Over time? Louis told him not to think about that, to just focus on right now. Mike asked how he could get Louis to stop.

“Say 'Gargoyle',” Louis answered. Gargoyle? You never did SM role playing without a safe word, a word that either person could say. When it was said, everything immediately came to a full stop. Of course it took some trust that if the safe word was said everything would stop. Louis assured Mike that if the safe word was said and the scene didn't stop, Mike was free to use any means necessary to get out of the situation.

Mike's thoughts were racing. The idea of getting spanked intrigued him. But what was he getting in to? And with Louis Litt, of all people! Until recently, Mike had thought of Louis as somewhere between immature and mentally unstable. That had changed when he'd worked the water case; he realized that Louis was brilliant, though he had a temper. Was this a good idea? Mike sized up Louis, yeah, he could take him if he had to. Or at least manage to get away from him.

“How do we do this?”

Louis moved forward in the chair until he was almost sitting on the edge of it. He pointed to the floor next to him. “Get up, come stand over here.” Slowly Mike did as he was told. “Down over my knee.” Mike hesitated. “Now, Mike!” commanded Louis. Mike moved down and stretched out across Louis' lap, bent at the hips so his butt was vulnerable. He put his hands on the floor in front of him for stability, and crossed his feet. It was an odd feeling, about to be spanked for the first time in his life. He was apprehensive and at the same time, curious.

“Uncross your feet,” ordered Louis. “I'm going to start in a moment. While you're being spanked, I want you to think about all the things that make you feel guilty about your grandmother. Not just recently, but throughout your life. I'm going to spank you for ten minutes, or until your body tells me otherwise.”

The first slap stung, but didn't hurt. Mike thought about his grandmother. The immediate guilt was about having canceled dinner with her the night before she died. The second, third and fourth slaps stung, too. Mike had decided that work was more important than the only family he had left, a missed dinner was no big deal. Louis was going at a steady pace, slapping each butt cheek in turn. How many other missed dinners had there been, and why? How many times had he told himself that grandma would understand? How many times had he just plain forgotten?

His butt was beginning to hurt when Louis slapped him. Had she been disappointed? Of course she had, though she rarely admitted it. She always tried to be loving and supportive, telling him he didn't need to apologize or explain. He realized she buried her own pain so he wouldn't see it.

WHAM! Louis' hand landed on Mike's right butt cheek with a lot more force, making Mike yelp. Immediately his left butt cheek was hit with equal force. Grandma would leave a plate in the refrigerator, ready to be reheated, Mike remembered. She never said anything, just smiled and put the plate in the microwave.

Louis picked up the pace, and for a few moments all Mike could think about was getting spanked and how his butt hurt. He was getting uncomfortable, and there was a knot growing in his gut. Just then, the slaps stopped. Louis ran his hand gently over Mike's butt cheeks. Mike felt the whoosh of air when the hand jerk away, and braced himself for the next slap. A moment later, once again the hand gently caressed Mike's butt. Mike relaxed a little.

WHAM! Louis slapped him flat-handed across both butt cheeks. Mike squealed and squirmed, which earned him four more slaps in rapid succession. He took a deep breath. Grandma understood. No she didn't, not always. Louis pelted Mike's butt with rapid-fire slaps. Grandma may not have understood, but she forgave. Why did she do that?

The slaps were landing fast and furious. Mike's butt was on fire, and his emotions churned upward. She forgave because she loved me, Mike thought. She loved me! SHE LOVED ME! Mike gasped and his body stiffened. He raised his head and gasped again. Immediately Louis stopped spanking, and pulled Mike up into a hug. He held the boy tightly, because for the first time in many, many years, Mike Ross cried.


	5. Chapter 5

Five – Plans For Harold

Donna looked up as Harold approached her desk, file in hand. “Done already? I'll let Harvey know.” She punched a button on her phone, told Harvey of Harold's arrival, and saw him wave through the glass. “Go on in,” she told the Junior Associate.

Harold hesitated, working up his courage. “Uh, Donna? Why do you think I'm gay?”

“I don't care what you are.” Donna flashed him a smile. “I just like giving Harvey a hard time.”

“Is he anti-gay?” Harold was nervous, almost fearful. His hands started trembling.

Donna's smile got wider. “No, Harold, not in the least. He's just,” she paused, “weird. Right now you happen to be the target of his weirdness. It's a game we play”

“If you're through trying to drag him out of his non-existent closet, Donna,” Harvey said, taking the file out of Harold's hand, “I'd like to see what he's done.” Harvey took a one-hundred dollar bill out of his wallet and slapped it on Donna's desk. “Take him down to twenty-first street tonight and throw him to the lions. Then you can pay me back.”

Donna snatched up the bill as Harvey clasped the Junior Associate's shoulder and led him into the office. “Sit,” he ordered waving toward a chair while walking back to his desk. “Tell me what you found.”

Harold stammered, coughed and tried again. “They overextended themselves.”

“This is news?” Harvey asked with a bite in his voice. He opened the file and began reading.

“This is different,” Harold answered, feeling more confident. “They're a medium-class bank, but they want to play with the big boys. It's not so much the risk of the loans they made, you'll see that most are pretty low-risk, or the amounts. It's the terms they gave.”

“Terms favorable to the bank.” Harvey kept reading.

“Yes and no.” Harold was in his element now, feeling confident. “In the short run, the terms are favorable to the customer. It would be easy to conclude that the bank is trying to help companies pull out of this recession. But in the long run, the terms weigh heavily toward the bank, making it almost impossible for the companies to survive. The bank winds up owning them.”

“It sounds a lot like what we've seen for the last decade or so.”

“Again, yes and no. On the surface it looks like the same banking methods that led us to the financial industry crash, but if you look at the Schedule of Dispositions, it tells a different story. The bank let the companies keep operating, but sold the mortgage to a bigger bank for a nice profit. My theory is this is how they planned to make it into the big leagues.”

Harvey closed the file. “Get the business going, take control, sell it for a profit.”

“Yeah.” Harold smiled.

“Good work, Harold. I'll take it from here. I'm sure you've got other cases.” Harold knew he was being dismissed, and his look changed to disappointment. Harvey noticed. “Something wrong?”

“It's just, it's just,” whispered Harold.

Harvey smiled. “Don't worry, I'll make sure that you get praised for this in your performance review.”

“But you'd rather have Mike working on it.” Harold lowered his eyes.

Harvey thought for a moment. “You've got a point. I might need both of you this time. I'll keep that in mind.” He stood up. “Oh, and Harold, make sure I get my hundred dollars back.”

Walking toward Jessica Pearson's office, Harvey saw that she was talking with another woman. He tapped lightly on the door, and Jessica waved him in.

“Harvey!” she smiled. “I'd like you to meet Diane Lockhart, from Chicago.” Harvey shook her hand while Jessica continued. “Diane and I go way back.”

Harvey was smiling, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. “Still representing that drug lord?” he asked.

Diane's back stiffened. “We only represent his legitimate businesses,” she answered curtly.

Jessica's temper flared. “What do yo want?” she asked Harvey, her voice hostile.

“I've got what I need to win the Natural Energy case,” Harvey said. Jessica's eyebrows rose. “What I want,” he continued, “is for Louis not to be involved, or even know.”

“So it's financial,” Jessica nodded her head. “Louis is the best.”

Harvey handed the file to Jessica. He talked as she studied it. “I had a J.A. do the financials, as you see he did a great job. This is slam-dunk, and I want him to have a hand in it.”

“Don't lose.” Jessica commanded, handing the file back. Harvey left without looking at Diane.

“I'm sorry he was rude to you,” Jessica said.

Diane relaxed into the chair. “I'm used to it. What I'm curious about is Louis.”

“That's the million-dollar question,” replied Jessica. Harvey and Louis started out together as Junior Associates in the bullpen. Harvey was good at persuasion, while Louis could dissect financial information with surgical precision. They'd been friendly rivals until their third year, when Harvey was promoted to Associate before Louis. There had been hostility between the two ever since.

“Louis blames Harvey for getting promoted?” Diane asked.

“I think he also blames me,” Jessica answered, a faraway look in her eye. “Louis gravitated toward Daniel, but there wasn't any real relationship there, either. When Daniel left, Louis had to find his own way. He's done a pretty good job of it.”

“Why does he blame you?” asked Diane.

Jessica smiled. “When Daniel and I were just starting out, I hired a young kid to work in the mail room. He worked all day, then spent all night finishing his undergrad degree. By the time he was ready to enter law school, I helped him get into Harvard.”

“Harvey.” Diane noted.

“Yes. He did his summer internships here, too. Nobody was surprised that I hired him when he graduated.”

“And Daniel hired Louis?”

“We all did, unanimously. We saw a lot of potential in him, and time has proven us right.” Jessica stood up. “Time to go. We don't want to be late.”

“Lunch and shopping, two of the great joys of life!” laughed Diane.


	6. Chapter 6

Six – Aftermath

Mike interrupted his sobbing to let out a loud wail, one that came from deep in his gut. Louis continued to hold him, even after Mike threw his arms around Louis' neck, the way a small child would. This made Louis uncomfortable, but he knew he mustn't say or do anything except keep still. Presently Mike's crying diminished, after a few more minutes he was just snuffling. Louis very gently reached up and unwrapped Mike's arms, holding them while he stood him up. The younger man's eyes were red, and looked to Louis like they were helpless.

“Don't say a word,” Louis said, although it was doubtful that Mike could talk right now. “I'm going to put you in the guest room, where you need to rest, and feel. Don't think, just feel.” He led Mike down the hall to the guest room. “Take your shoes off.” Mike sat down on the bed, and quickly jumped up again. Louis smiled as he watched Mike gently rub his butt, and told him it would be sore for a day or two. Mike sat down much more carefully, pulled off his shoes and lay back, curling up into the fetal position. Louis threw a blanket over him and switched off the light.

In his study, Louis reflected on what just happened. It felt odd, because while he didn't hate Mike, he didn't like him, either. But the way that Mike had wrapped his arms around his neck, total surrender, total helplessness. It gave Louis such a feeling of power, of control, but something about it wasn't right. Yes, in SM there was an exchange of power, and that's what had happened. But this was Mike, Harvey's little boy toy, and Louis couldn't help but let his feelings about Harvey intrude. Louis realized he was flirting with danger: you can't let those kind of emotions intrude into an SM situation without causing trouble. It came down to a question: is this the beginning or the end?

If it was the end, then, no problem. No more spankings or anything else, they go back to the way they were. If it was the beginning, as Louis suspected, both of them would have to find a way to continue without those cloudy emotions.

Louis wondered if this was just the beginning because of how Mike had handled it. He was smart, he had evaluated the situation, and chosen to take a calculated risk. He'd had an escape plan ready. However, he had followed instructions, and let his emotions bubble up. It was clear they ran deep, much deeper than just one spanking could handle. Would Mike see that? If he did, would he be willing to go on?

In the guest room, Mike was still churning with emotions. A couple of times he started to cry again, but not for very long. The darkness made it easier for him to envision his grandmother in his mind's eye. There she was: smiling, arms outstretched to take him in, loving, caring, forgiving. Little by little his body uncurled, until he finally, and very gently, rolled over on his back. His butt still hurt – oh! did it hurt! - radiating heat down his thighs and up his back.

There was another feeling, one that Mike had a hard time figuring out. Finally he decided it could only be described as being lighter, like a big weight had been lifted off of him. He actually felt calmer and more relaxed than he had in several days, and it was a different kind of relaxed than what he got from getting high. This one was a deep down, letting-go kind of relaxed. He actually felt better, butt pain notwithstanding. A smile crept over his face, though he couldn't explain why. It stayed there as he drifted off to sleep.

When he awoke, he set out in search of Louis, who was in the study, and looked up when Mike walked him. Mike started to sit in a chair, thought twice about it, and stayed standing. “I guess we should talk,” he said.

“No,” Louis replied, dismissively.

“What do you mean, no?” Mike was confused.

Louis looked at him. “Just what I said. No.”

“You beat my butt, make me cry like a baby, and don't want to talk about it?” Mike was getting angry. “Louis, you broke me, you saw something that nobody has ever seen before!”

“I'm sorry I had to witness it,” snapped Louis. Mike started to say something, but Louis cut him off. “What are you feeling right now?” he asked.

“Pretty annoyed with you,” Mike growled.

Louis stood up. “No, you little dumb shit! Put that aside. What are you feeling? How do you feel?”

Mike blinked. Of course Louis would know! He's done this before, obviously. He pushed aside his frustration and let the other feelings come back. “Lighter,” he whispered.

“So don't ruin that by talking about it,” Louis said. “Stay with that feeling. Go home. It's a familiar place. Try not to think, especially about what you're feeling. Just feel it.”

Walking into his apartment, Mike sensed something different. Everything was clearer, brighter, and he couldn't understand why, but his shabby little dump just felt better. He undressed and showered carefully, mindful of his still-hurting butt, crawled into bed and fell into a dreamless sleep.

Harvey's phone rang. When he saw who was calling, he stabbed the answer button. “What do you want?” he snapped.

“Don't ask questions. Mike is home, he's fine. The best thing you can do is leave it alone.”

“What have you -” Harvey started to ask, but Louis hung up.


End file.
